Best Books of 2020 - Memoirs

With our social lives shrinking so drastically because of the pandemic, I decided to read more memoirs in 2020, to ‘meet’ some new people, as well as engage with authors whose lived experience is very different than my own. Like many other people, Ibram X. Kendi’s “How to be an Antiracist” was high on my list. I found his blend of memoir, history and social commentary highly effective, and his self-examination both gave me permission and exhorted me to do the same with regard to just how much racism has insidiously and unconsciously wormed its way into my life. He offers much needed clarity in understanding what racism is and is not, and – as the title says – how to be an antiracist. Highly recommended.

Austin Channing Brown’s “I’m Still Here” was another difficult to read account of being black in America, particularly being a black woman in the world of white evangelicalism. Not least her clear-eyed account of the burden people like myself tend to place on people like Brown to educate and absolve us, even while knowing that’s mostly to alleviate our own guilt rather than cause us to join the struggle for racial justice. Painful and necessary.

Valeria Luiselli’s “Tell Me How It Ends” is a heart-rending account of the author’s time as a translator in the children’s courts of NYC, helping those facing deportation to fill in a 40-question survey. These children had made the perilous journey to the United States fleeing unimaginable horrors, only to encounter ignorance and bigotry instead of the compassionate and understanding welcome they so desperately needed. We must do better.

“Furiously Happy” by Jenny Lawson is a laugh out loud account of the author’s experience of living with serious mental health issues. My wife and I read whole sections aloud to each other, amazed by the author’s obvious resilience as well as her ability to be both wildly inappropriate and endearing all at once.

I read “Love Lives Here” by Amanda Jette Knox in 3 sittings. A “mommy blogger” with 3 sons, when her 11-year-old comes out as transgender she meets the daughter she never knew she had. Knox’s story of becoming a fierce advocate for her daughter and then other trans children is beautifully told, with much humor, and offers some really helpful insight into the challenges trans families face. When her husband also comes out as trans, the depth of emotion in the writing becomes overwhelming at times. Powerful.

“Having Nothing, Possessing Everything” by Michael Mather is an account of the importance of recognizing how often we fail to see the most valuable resources in communities of material poverty – the strong, determined, talented and resilient people who live there. His friendship with DeAmon Harges (both of whom I know through the Parish Collective) led to the church he pastored beginning to practice Asset-Based Community Development rather than the more traditional social-service based model most churches adopt. Encouraging and inspiring.

Finally, I have read everything Fredrik Backman has written, and “Things My Son Needs To Know About the World” did not disappoint. With self-deprecating humor and his customary insight into human nature, this brief memoir is both touching and surprisingly practical. Loved it.

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